Thursday, April 06, 2006

Some parents take the longer view

…HA doesn’t know if it’s hard-wired or not, but parents have a tendency to try to stop their spawn from marring their permanent record—no matter what the relative ages of the two parties.

…The Wall Street Journal has had a couple of pieces about “helicopter” parents who hover over grown children, coaching them for job interviews and then intervening about raises and working conditions after the kids get the job.

…Not to mention providing tutoring or actually helping kids write collitch apps.

…And don’t forget letting them live at home until they are 30-something. Almost a third of supposedly grown kids live at the old homestead.

…This isn’t because they are lazy bums but because it’s too expensive to live these days. Prices up, wages level or down.

…HA is guilty of some of this, if guilty is the word for not wanting an arbitrary, sometimes unfair, and irritating world to mark her kid for life. Her kid won’t care or notice, but HA will.

…Now comes a study that shows that parents who base their self-worth on their children’s accomplishments and answer positively to such statements as, “My son’s failure can make me feel ashamed,” report more crying, sadness, and less enjoyment of life.

…I don’t know about basing our worth on them, but pardon us for caring!

…HA constantly reminds herself that her daughter has skills and interests she cannot even fathom (interior design, following professional basketball and the hiphop scene).

…And what if parents just don’t want their kid to get on the radar and be sucked into the system?

…This tough love thing? Sounds great, but can leave a kid in our Nanny State with a life-long paper trail and bad credit. All this before they smarten up and learn the ropes.

…HA has too much disdain for authority to do that.

…She knows of PARENTS who learned this the hard way.

…Mess with her kid and hear her roar.

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