Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Time to retire Old Lumpy?


…HA remembers watching a segment on “The View” about when to get new pillows. Some pillow bossy cow had the girls bring in their pillows…ominous yellowish stains, sags, and all. HA thought, “My pillows look like Meredith Viera’s, how cool."

…Not.

…According to a piece in Shop Etc. (Sept), nearly half of Americans keep their mattresses (we’ll get to the pillows) longer than the experts recommend. Would forever fall in that category?

…Like a long-term bed partner, this article says, we grow accustomed to the flaws of our bed. (No comment on that bed partner thing, which HA thought brought in unrelated material.)

…Hear it now, folks. Mattresses expire in 5-7 years. Nuh-uh! Even the ones recommended by Sarah Connor? Even those Sleep Number things--HA doesn't get those, by the way--what is that, an air mattress with gradations?

…If the coils poke you, this says, time for a trip to the Mattress King. Yeah, can see that. But it also says if you aren’t sleeping as well, time to trade in old Lumpy. What if you aren’t sleeping as well because you can’t afford a new mattress?

…Soft beds are not necessarily unsupportive, this article says. Pillowtops support you. This magazine was pushing the body molding memory foams (the woman jumping next to the wine glass). Well, sure, if you have $3,500!

…OK…pillows. Some of HA’s have names. The flat one is, of course, Pat (for Flat Pat). The little one she uses to balance her reading matter—Bookie. The rest are just some cheap rabble that have been sleeping with her for ages—and probably were originally called “shams,” not even real pillows.

…Check the warranty, to see when you have a “case” (like that one?) for dumping your pillows.

…If a pillow bends, apparently this isn’t a good sign. Are you kidding? HA can roll hers like a burrito!

…Don’t even get HA started on sheets. Thread counts lie! Maybe some other time.

2 comments:

Anne said...

Hi Star,

So why ditch the old pillows? They look bad? Are there health reasons? Too many mites?

And c'mon (not you, the mattress companies), mattresses have got to have a longer shelf life than 5-7 years. It's totally irresponsible consumption. That means that every American should go through 10-15 of those suckers in a lifetime, our landfills are going to be stuffed to the gills with discarded mattresses. Not to mention all the pollution involved in their manufacture, packaging, delivery to your house and transport to the dump, where most of the materials won't have the good grace to degrade in a reasonable amount of time. Sheesh!

Anne.

Star said...

Anything that keeps me from digging up $3500 is OK in my book. I like how you think. I think there may be a mite issue--if the thing is made of packed-together mites and mite er, leavings, after 20 yrs, this could be yucky. I think turning mattresses can also redistribute wear. I wonder if they are really saying these state of the art guys wear out so fast? Good point! Of course, I sleep on a $200 slab from a newspaper ad and have had it 15 yrs.