Thursday, September 28, 2006

Sorry state of the apology

…Have you ever gotten an apology in Valley Girl-speak…”Like sawr-ree.”?

…HA hates those crappy little quickies.

…Also bad, the one the Pope rolled out recently, “If anyone was offended, I am sorry.” HA suspects you knew they were offended (the fires and shouting might have been a clue).

…Or was it the listener’s fault by implication? “You must be the sort of person to be offended by this, what’s wrong with you?”

…Health professionals say apologizing helps the apologizer even more than it does the apologizee.

…What is the crux of the satisfying apology? Sincerity yes, but you also must hit the form of apology the person responds to best.

…Jean Patterson of The Orlando Sentinel, writes about the book The Five Languages of Apology, by Jennifer Thomas and Gary Chapman.

…The five apology structures are: Expressing regret (“I am sorry.”).

…Accepting responsibility (”I was wrong.”).

…Genuinely repenting (“I will try never to do that again.”).

…Making restitution (“What can I do to make this right?”).

…Requesting forgiveness (“Do you forgive me?”).

…When apologizing to a group, you may need to use all five so that you hit the form appreciated by each person in the group.

…Hugs optional but probably a good idea—unless it’s a mob.

No comments: