Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Grrrr...how to deal with anger

…We all encounter flashpoints almost every day—anger, irritation or rage.

…HA once wrote about this for WebMD.

…Anger is a response to a threat, one psychologist said. When you are threatened, cortisol and adrenaline flood your system and the blood rushes out of your brain so you can’t think as well.

…Men often turn fear and sadness into anger. Women will say they are scared and then start talking about the fear.

…A lot of anger is learned—it is what we saw as children.

…Anger can come in stages..first passive agression, stalling, clamming up.

…Sarcasm may be next.

…Cold anger is the silent treatment or minimal response.

…Hostility can manifest…toetapping or acting like a time bomb.

…You need to see your own thinking distortions. Maybe you set thresholds—if the person does it ONE more time. Or catastrophize…what a total nightmare. Or personalize…I am always the one that gets cut off!

…The five S’s affect your ability to be resilient and short circuit these responses. The S’s are sleep, stress, sustenance, substances, and sickness. Take a look at how you are doing on these.

…In face-to-face meetings, actively listen to the other person. Use “I” statements. “When I got home you didn’t even say Hi.” Don’t use “you” statements—“What the hell is the matter with you?”

…When you get angry, see which part tenses the most. Next time, make an effort to unclench that part first.

…Another approach. Write your grievance on a Post-It and put it on your shoe sole and stomp on it.

…HA suspects by then you will be laughing.

…”Mind over madder,” advised one doc. Hope bad puns don’t make you angry.

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