Thursday, December 06, 2007

Makes shaking hands drafty


…Don’t get HA started on those horrible paper towel exam outfits doctors expect you to wear.

…Ooops, too late. She's started.

…Connie Midey, our intrepid medical reporter at the East Valley Tribune (Dec 4, 2007), took on the subject and got HA all riled up.

…First, Midey points out that even if you are lucky enough to get a cloth number, a crucial tie in back is always broken off or knotted into a Gordian horror.

…Doctors usually don’t bother with those cloth numbers anyway. Instead, the assistant, shivering herself in the frigid confines of “the little room,” hands you an assortment of paper towels to wear over your shame.

…These gowns are fine for the hospital—why goop up something you own and would have to replace? And it gives the staff a sense of power to be the only ones to figure out
the snap shoulder thingies allowing for removal over IVs.

…But how about that paper “vest” thing they hand women before a gyno exam? With a larger paper towel to go below. The paper is so stiff, the thing moves as a piece, up, down, in, out, gap, gap.

…All the while you are sitting there with your scars and cellulite hanging out while the fully clothed doc sits on a little stool below you staring upward into your stiff openings.

…God forbid you should have to walk next door or to a lab.

…One physician’s assistant said he kept his t-shirt and boxers on himself. Even though the gowns might have been laundered, he told Midey, he was put off that sick people had worn them. He may be in the wrong line of work—but also..HA had not thought of that! Oh, ick.

…Changes maybe coming…kimonos, drawstring pants, or ankle length gowns that at least cover your butt.

…Yeah, sure. Take a deep breath and hold it.

…Sometimes doctors don’t have you change until they talk to you and see what exams might be needed. Another doc HA had once always met with you fully clothed after the exam for the discussion period.

…Midey even suggests bring your own gown. Personally, HA does not plan to see the doctor that often.

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