Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Bandages for every form of mayhem

…The AP’s Leanne Italie takes on the bandage aisle. Have you visited that thing lately—it’s more mind-bending that the vitamin section!

…You can stand and stare for half an hour and still be clueless.

…”They are tough, clear, rubbery, gooey, round, winged, and squiggly,” Italie raves.

…Squiggly—OK, HA is grossed out. If those things move, you will be peeling her off the ceiling.

…A marketer quoted in the article says the market is chugging along nicely, and manufacturers are doing everything they can to tweak presized bandages and grab marketshare.

…”Let the injury get air” has been replaced by “let’s seal this sucker up on all sides.”

….The shapes and sizes conform to weird body parts and areas. Like the H-shapes for knuckles.

…For the very weird, you can spray on the bandage or slap on gel. Remember lambskin to protect blistery areas? It’s still around.

…Allergic to latex? They have ya covered. And those little dot bandages—those are good for protecting chafe-prone nippies.

…And of course, the cartoons. These are HA’s favorite. You can even get bandages that show “High School Musical.”

…Want to know a secret? Sometimes kids put them on just for laffs and decoration.

…What’s next in the larky world of personal injury? Smart bandages that change color when a certain antibiotic is needed. Or scented with nice smells like popcorn or apple pie.

…Oh, urp.

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