Thursday, January 03, 2008
Jiggle and shake
…Can you stand the fare on TV in the dawning of this new year? Marathons of shows about 1000-lb people. "The Big Loser," "Big Medicine," etc. Talk about a fear-based society! Ack!
…HA is getting teed off about it, actually. Get a grip, people. Go sell your little pills, innard-rummaging surgeries, and weird frozen meals to anyone who hasn’t tried them, but stop with the reign of terror.
…It is remotely possible that with the greatness of the human brain, even larger people have interests of love, family, creativity, fulfillment, a new job, renewed faith, purpose, and so on that is not related to fatty tissue?
…But, if you are going to try to jump around more and you are carrying some movable parts, Tara Parker-Pope wrote about this Nov 13, 2007, in the NYT.
…You know what she means—the parts guys like on beach volleyball. Or thighs that…get this…touch each other.
…A fitness instructor says all this glory in motion is uncomfortable. Her clients tell her part of them goes right when they go left.
…Sigh—they have a name for this, of course—the locomotion of obesity. Remember when the Big O had a better connotation?
…Funny story—they never really studied this much, it seems. While exercise may be good for your heart, it may be less good for your knees and hips. Turns out wider people walk with their legs wider apart (hold the “wide stance” jokes).
…This shifts the weight to the inside of the knee—the most prone to arthritis.
…And even skinnies can feel those ta-tas bounce painfully. Yes, they did a study involving light beams and stuff and ALL breasts of all sizes move more than they thought. They go side to side, even front to back. Light beams--HA does not want to think about it.
…Encapsulation—a bra that cradles each side separately—is the answer.
…Also the prescription that exercisers wear light, baggy clothes may not suit people of size. Tight, Spandexy stuff suppports everything better. Check out www.plussizeyellowpages.com.
…Or—people can try the recumbent bike or go swimming.
…HA says if you’ve got it flaunt it—just slow it down first.