Thursday, March 27, 2008

Blasted little snugglebugs


…Earlier this month, Tara Parker-Pope had a blog entry on the New York Times site about bedbug-sniffing dogs. Yes, some loyal pooches can sniff out the little beggars, which are about as big as an apple seed.

…Is there anything dogs can’t do? They rule!

…Anyhow, bedbugs are baaaack, people. More identified with foreign hotels, now they are nestled in the seams of the seldom-washed comforters and the baseboards of the snazziest hotels in the country.

…The adorably macho “Dirty Jobs” guy always hurls the comforter onto the floor upon entering a hotel. Do you? HA will now!

…If you see white powder around the room, yup, they have been trying to kill bedbugs.

…Any blood spots on the comforter or mattress underneath the sheet. Uh..you have an issue.

…Like the ticks that terrorized HA last summer (and have not been forgotten, you better believe that!), bedbugs have a pretty close relationship with life and don’t want to leave it.

…The comments that followed on Tara’s blog were many and disgusting. Someone got bedbugs in the hospital having a baby—and the baby came home bitten, too! (“This makes me crazy sick,” Tara commented, with her usual flair.)

…Flight attendants reported picking up these unwanted passengers and bringing them home.

…HA heard the Fox newsroom was infested (and supposedly now er, debugged).

…Hiring a trained sniffer dog is expensive—hundreds of dollars. Then what--they don't eat them or anything, just point them out.

…Oh, ack, the insects are gonna win, let’s face it.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I got up from my hotel in the middle of the night and ended up sleeping in my car! Being fodder for a bug? Yikes.

Someone needs to invent a bedbug trap by putting a heater and breath simulator in a mannequin and some kind of poison in the skin to surprise the biter. Imagine the fun of coming back in the morning to see all the dead bugs were a person would have been bitten.

Star Lawrence said...

If it was my post that drove you to the car, I apologize...ah, the power of writing. A poison decoy to foil bugs--this could be a movie. Then, see, the bugs get really, really mad, and the poison has mutated them somehow, maybe they've got one eye now, not two, something...then, let's see where was I...

I miss screenwriting.

Anonymous said...

No the poison makes them grow to the size of the human, and when you go back to check they eat you! Now there's these giant bedbugs who kill everyone who knocks on the door and they keep sending more and more people up to that room to see where everyone else went...

Star Lawrence said...

Ooops--I think that movie has been made--"Vacancy." Darn, all the good ideas are taken.