Monday, May 19, 2008
Visit Sick World, don't move there
…Feeling deprived, bunky? How about losing your house, dogs, furniture, peace of mind, and having your wife and parents ill and suffering, all with no health insurance?
…William July and his wife Jamey Lacy July are going through this—and so much more—and wrote a book on coping, called, A Husband, A Wife, and An Illness. Go to www.couplesfacingillness.com.
…Dr July is like a smart Dr Phil. He lectures and writes about relationships. And the one that almost kicked his butt was his relationship to illness.
…His wife is, ironically, a wellness expert in her own right. She had fibromyalgia and then some rats started capering around their yard in Texas, perhaps loaded with fleas, and her health went off the cliff. It ended up being Lyme Disease and other things.
…Self-employed, the Julys had no health insurance.
…July says “normal” slips away subtly. Little routines change—you can’t afford to do this or that. You don’t feel like this or that.You keep thinking the preoccupations caused by chronic illness will go back to “normal.”
…That doesn’t happen.
…So you grieve…it’s gone, changed, never to return.
…You need to create a new normal, one that is not focused on aches, pains, pills, and doctors (HA calls this Sick World).
…You must not worry while you work—separate it in your mind. July turns on music in the car—anything to shift gears.
…Try to find ways to make it positive, viz, this book.
…You may have to do things related to the illness, but do as many of your old things as you can—have friends over, go places.
…Do something constructive every day. Pray, blog, comment on blogs, watch old movies.
…Visualize a better life, the sick person looking healthy, the caregiver looking patient. Make a personal goal and keep to it.
…You are better than your body.
…Oh, and July says try to get insurance. He has some tips.