Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Don't try this at home


…Fourth of July coming up—time for the obligatory article by doctors saying don’t blow yourself up.

…HA always thinks—how silly. Then she remembers stepping on the hot ends of sparklers with bare feet as a kid.

…In the olden days, HA’s dad used to shoot off a little cannon his dad got during the Spanish-American War. The police always came as the BOOMs started—then stayed to play with it. (Police were way more fun in those days.)

…HA’s brother was obsessed with fireworks—started accumulating in April. He became a cop!

…HA’s Dad also used to put ladyfingers under a heavy skillet and blow it into the roof of the carport over and over.

….Now, back to the doctors and the blowing up thing.The unfunny American Burn Assn says 10,000 people get hurt by fireworks each year.

…The so-called safest, sparklers and little firecrackers accounted for half of the injuries. They reach 1200 degrees.

…But of course, you may want to play with these anyway—so some advice. Only adults should light them. They have lived long enough, probably. Even adults should wear glasses or protective eyewear.

…Light them in wide open places, no dry grass.

…Have the water hose nearby.

…Don’t relight a dud. Come on, you know you want to. Don't.

…Don’t drink and ignite stuff.

…Remember, fireworks were designed for war. “Rocket’s red glare”? Remember that one?

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