Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Marriage still the thing
…Particularly in this political season, HA sees so many people trying to characterize people’s marriages—a business relationship, loveless, hypocritical, deceitful, etc.
…It took her a few decades, but HA has concluded that you can’t tell anything about someone’s relationship. But may think you know, but you don’t.
…Leslie Bennetts took this on in Parade (Sept 21, 2008). In point of fact, Bennetts says, marriage works really well for most people. In a recent poll, 88% said they were reasonably happy. Only 12% said they were miserable and wanted out.
…”Deep love” and “companionship,” were listed as reasons for staying.
…A third said they would describe their marriages as “peaceful coexistence.” Men, despite their jokes about balls and chains, are happier than women.
…Seventy percent of men said they never thought of leaving their wives. Half the women had considered leaving.
…When they do fight, almost half the time it’s about money. Chores and sex ranked next.
…About one-fourth were not happy with their sex lives.
…31% have sex less than once a month. If they don’t have sex more often, 48% of men said the woman was not interested. A third of women say they are too tired.
…Men admitted cheating more than women did. Nearly one-fourth said they had strayed or refused to answer. Only 11% of women had cheated, they said, and 4% would not answer. If they cheated, the men did it with more than one woman. Fifty-eight percent of tie wives only cheated with one.
….If they found their spouse was cheating, most Americans would stay and try to save the marriage.
…A quarter of the men in the survey kept secrets from their wives (debts, gambling hidden assets, weird sexual practices).
…Love still makes all this work. People got married for love (80%).
….Would you marry the same person again? All but 16% of the men said yes. Twenty-two percent of the women thought they could do better.
…Woman wanted to talk more. That’s no shocker.