Friday, December 19, 2008
Even Santa has to fill in a clipboard
…Those larky types at Baylor University Med Center gave even fat old Santa a clean bill of health to pull an all-nighter humping toys, wedging into chimneys, and bolting cookies.
...This guy is what, hundreds of years old?
…Of course, Santa does have a slightly elevated blood sugar, it was pointed out. Blame those cookies.
…Leave him some fruit and veggies, the docs said—hey, aren’t those carrots for bad people?
…Santa underwent a weigh-in, BP check, nutritional counseling and a conversation about family history.
…Santa does not smoke and apparently walks 30 mins a day around the Pole area, so he was in pretty good shape. Fit as a fiddle? That would be stretching it..
…His “bowl full of jelly” can be a problem or indicator of metabolic syndrome—high BP, high cholesterol, and high glucose rolled into one syndrome.
…Baylor also said Mrs Claus made Santa go to the doc—he is a typical jolly male.
…The rubber glove? No mention was made. Thank goodness.
…But yeah, he probably had that, too.