Are you up for ED?

…First, in the interests of full disclosure, HA knew a guy who had a penile implant, though she herself never saw it or could judge its…functionality. He said the surgery hurt a LOT.

…Since Bob Dole started in about erectile dysfunction, men are more open about it.

…More open? Heck, they take baths outside (what is UP with that?) and sing about their virility.

…35 million men take the little blue pill—and others of other hues.

…And they also submit to that surgery, whether they have a wife or girlfriend or not—perhaps hoping to land one.

…Perhaps there is something short of surgery that would help.

…First, stop smoking, the docs say. Diabetes and high BP are the worst for slowing blood flow to the hydraulics, but smoking can also cause unexpected problems. Once you quit, though, don’t break out the bubbly and incense right away—it takes up to two years for things to normalize.

…Keep cholesterol under control—over 240 and you have twice as much chance of an embarrassing moment.

…Fat tissue converts the male hormone testosterone to estrogen—meaning lose weight.

…According to some sources, namely PETA, eating meat can cut performance. Evidence is skimpy.

…If all this fails, maybe porn…

…Joking…joking. Of course, a close, intimate relationship with everything out in the open feelings-wise and much discussion thereof, is preferable.