Wednesday, February 02, 2011

I don't THINK so, nosy parkers

I have a new Medicare Advantage plan—I know our amusing leaders plan to ruin these, but so far, they seemed OK. I figured pretty soon everyone will be ruined anyway, so I went for it.

Then they sent me a GIGANTIC HONKING questionnaire about my health.

After I filled it out and sent it right over, it assured me, they would send a report to my doctor about what I might need—additional services…

Wait a hot second. YOU will tell my doctor? How about if my doctor tells you something that’s wrong with me in order to get reimbursed, and that’s all you need to know?

I like that system better.

Or maybe this could be anonymous—if you need info on your customers. But no—it said no need to put my name, it was coded. Yup—all about me.

I don’t want my BMI in a study, I don’t want noodgy letters about going to the gym or getting my innards snaked (tried--but the doctor could not do it), no nurse needs to call and see if I took my pills. I don’t want to be in a national database of people who can’t get up from a chair (one of the questions).

Bah! Leave me alone! I don’t care if I eat a cookie and get a heart attack right after—you probably took a long run and pulled something I have to pay for.

Now where is that questionnaire—must have lost it. What a shame.

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