Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Think two years to recover from a bad hit

Elizabeth Bernstein, WSJ, July 30, 2013, points out that divorce, a death of someone close or loss of a job can take TWO YEARS to process.

Go easy on yourself.

There are  no shortcuts--and it can take longer if you were blindsided by the event.

Once you know it's a long process, you can relax into it somewhat.

Some people call this the "identity crisis process," because you are building a new identity after the event. You won't be the same person.

Don't move if you can help it, don't jump into a new relationship--of course, you do need to find a new job if you can.

"The whole sweep of your life has to be reassessed and rewoven," one doctor advised.

One person interviewed, a man who got divorced, wrote a  note that said TWO YEARS and put it on his fridge. He updated his progress on the note from time to time, at least subtracting days.

My mother died almost one year ago--we took care of her for 17 years. This was a lot of time to get used to her being here, or at least the "her" she became in later years. I guess I am not through yet.

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