Monday, December 16, 2013
Santa is 550--what about his health?
So how is Santa doing?
Well, he's fat. In the 1823, A Visit from St Nicholas, Santa was described as "chubby and plump." Now, 190 years later, he could still drop a few el-bees. Maybe by skipping those billions of cookies kids leave out.
He used to smoke, but lately is not seen with his "stump of a pipe...held tight in his teeth." Maybe Santa is PC now.
Santa drinks milk. This is a good source of bone-building Vit D and calcium. Does he stick to skim? Does Santa drink anything else--well, I would not deny him a slug of brandy in his cocoa, but this has not been proved.
Santa must also work out. He only "works" a job one night a year, but needs to stay "lively and quick." Climbing down chimneys is not recommended for the public, by the way.
Santa may have some memory issues. He has to "make a list and check it twice." Making toys should keep him smart--reading plans and blueprints.
Santa has pets--the reindeer may be lowering his BP.
Santa has a long relationship with the missus. Married people tend to do better and even survive cancer better.
So, overall, Santa is hanging in there! And to all a good night!