Monday, March 24, 2014

In stressful time, hard to know what to say

As I mentioned, my ex died a couple of weeks ago. This brought up a ton of memories--and also activated his family, which caused a lot of hassle and misery. At the same time, a good friend's mother died, my last remaining aunt on  my own mother's side was hospitalized. I got back in touch with people in DC and learned how changed that scene was (I can never go back). This resulted in nausea, stomachaches, chest pains and my daughter saying, "Mom! You are dying now!"

I don't know what I expected the few people I still know to say to help this, but a "positive attitude" is not something I respond to. I think I just wanted someone to listen until I bored myself --not try to "fix" things.

I heard, "Just remember the good times."

Or, "There must have been good times."

Or the ever popular, "Things could be worse--you could have cancer, too."

Or--"Those people's problems are not yours."

Well, they are if you can't stop thinking about them.

So maybe I strained the bonds of friendship. I probably did. So I am back to brooding--and actually feel things receding--becoming more muffled and distant.

But what if these ARE the good times? Oh. never mind.

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