Monday, November 14, 2016

For some, sad times lie ahead

In my Blue Cross/Blue Shield newsletter, they talked about how to cope with grief during the holidays. Since the holidays are usually a time of family closeness, a missing member can hit hard. So many memories of when that person was there.

Grieving people ask:

--Should I act like everything is OK?

--Is it OK to skip some traditions if they are too much for me?

--Should I change rituals?

First, you need to accept your feelings. Don't feel guilty if you are not into the holidays--or if you find yourself enjoying moments despite everything.

Don't judge yourself...and others should not judge you either.

Just do what feels right.

Have an exit strategy if you go to a party or event you shared with the loved one.

Take a friend to events.

Or--create a new tradition:

--Donate to a charity the person loved.

--Volunteer or donate food.

--Plant a tree or sponsor a plaque or bench somewhere.

Many people add new people and new activities each holiday--you can, too.

My sister married a guy whose son, 4, had died at Christmas--they never had a family dinner, he would not come to my house for one, they didn't decorate. It had been decades. It made me sad.

But I guess not as sad as he still was.

No comments: