Monday, November 14, 2016
For some, sad times lie ahead
Grieving people ask:
--Should I act like everything is OK?
--Is it OK to skip some traditions if they are too much for me?
--Should I change rituals?
First, you need to accept your feelings. Don't feel guilty if you are not into the holidays--or if you find yourself enjoying moments despite everything.
Don't judge yourself...and others should not judge you either.
Just do what feels right.
Have an exit strategy if you go to a party or event you shared with the loved one.
Take a friend to events.
Or--create a new tradition:
--Donate to a charity the person loved.
--Volunteer or donate food.
--Plant a tree or sponsor a plaque or bench somewhere.
Many people add new people and new activities each holiday--you can, too.
My sister married a guy whose son, 4, had died at Christmas--they never had a family dinner, he would not come to my house for one, they didn't decorate. It had been decades. It made me sad.
But I guess not as sad as he still was.