Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Santa--still going at 550 years old
He engages, she says, in risky behavior--racing from rooftop to rooftop in cold weather without a seatbelt and sneaking into homes and gobbling treats.
But--she says--he is still active at 550 and so he must be doing something right.
Carrying all those toys, builds up muscles, she adds.
Also, Santa used to smoke a pipe--but you don't see him with it much anymore.
Sadly, she observes that Santa's BMI is still quite high. Instead of cookies, how about apples and peanut butter? (Santa has no known allergies.)
On the plus side, he and Mrs. Claus have been married for centuries--some studies show health benefits from a long marriage.
And he has pets--the reindeer--and household help.
The proof in in the um..pudding. He flies to millions of households on one night. He must have some secret.